Sunday, March 20, 2005

My Palindrome

So, I figured it was only fair that I try my own exercise. Here's what I got -- still pretty rough, but I like where it's headed.


The Flowerless Branch

Each year a new spear
knifes up from the chips of bark,
rises, swells, sprouts delicate leaf pairs,
but still, no orchid flower.
We fertilize, water; don’t fertilize,
don’t water; move the pot
from dim hallway to bright living room —
and still: flowerless. Like us
living without a child? Two men,
barren as a cuckoo and a mule.
Barren as a cuckoo and a mule
living without a child. Two men.
And still, flowerless, like us
from dim hallway to bright living room —
don’t water; move the pot
we fertilize, water; don’t fertilize.
But still no orchid flower
rises, swells, sprouts delicate leaf pairs,
knifes up from the chips of bark.
Each year a new spear.

7 comments:

Radish King said...

Peter, this is luminous.
xor

Lorna Dee Cervantes said...

I like this!

Emily Lloyd said...

"Luminous" was the best word choice--I echo it. Also very beautiful on this subject, P., which is something I once tried to write about with little success. Really skilled. And I thought villanelles required lots of thinking ahead. Okay, so I've got my assignment for the week (I tend to need 'em)...

yrs,
em

jenni said...

Beautiful, real, emotionally complex, touchingly human and sensitive. This same quality exists in your book--And I'm not just saying that cuz I think you're cool. I've been inspired by many of the poems, and that to me, is the ultimate test.

Peter said...

Thanks R L E J: I'll keep working on it. Or try a new one. It's an interesting form/exercise.

Lorna Dee Cervantes said...

I think it's done. For now. (The things are like amoebas, ya know?) Try another one. But it's a hard thing to catch, kinda like saying, Ok, now I'm going to look at a rainbow. That said, when the conditions are right you're likely to see a second, then a third...

Peter said...

Thank you Lorna, I think I'll try another.