Saturday, June 24, 2006

Thank God for church ladies with typewriters.

A few choice quotes (from spam Dean sent me):

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

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The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

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Our youth basketball team is back in action, Wednesday at 8PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those
things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

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The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict.

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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

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Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled.
Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

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Please place your donation in the envelope, along with the deceased person you want remembered.

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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

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This evening at 7 PM, there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

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