Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Found Poem

Use as Directed
— from the Physician’s Desk Reference for Non-Prescription Drugs

For external use only. Avoid contact with eyes.
Frequent and continued use may cause dependence.
Keep away from children.
Squeeze twice into each nostril as needed.
May cause birth defects.
Do not use this product if you are sensitive to mercury.
May cause itching, irritation and skin flaking.
Relieves itching, irritation and skin flaking.
In case of overdose, contact a poison-control center.
Do not use in or around the rectum except on the advice of a physician.
May have a laxative effect.
For best results use twice weekly.
Do not drive or operate machinery while taking this medication.
Contents under pressure. Intentional inhalation can be harmful or fatal.
Helps restore mental alertness.
Hold container upright when spraying.
Also contains D&C Yellow No. 10, FD&C Blue No.1.
Safe and gentle enough to use as often as you like.
Remove foil wrapper before inserting into rectum.
Do not use more than six.
It is a violation of Federal Law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.
One application provides rapid and long-lasting relief.
Do not use near flame or fire.
Harmful if swallowed.
Unsafe for children at any dose.
Try our one-gallon professional size.

5 comments:

David Vincenti said...

And people say having a job outside writing and teaching is not good for your poetry.

Great stuff.

Esther said...

Peter, this is wonderful. Send it in for next year's PDR. It definitely needs to go on the inside flap AND the back book jacket. love it!
Esther

Emily Lloyd said...

Hey, Peter, I sonnetized it just for fun (lines may not have room to break correctly and wrap around):

Panacea

It is a violation of Federal Law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its label. Do not use in or around the rect- um. Intentional inhalation can be harmful or fatal.
Frequent and continued use may cause dependence. May cause itching, irritation and skin flaking.
Harmful if swallowed. Helps restore mental alertness. Relieves itching, irritation and skin flaking. Do not use near flame or fire. Do not use more than six. Do not use this product if you are sensitive to mercury. Contents under pressure. May cause birth defects. Keep away from children. For best results use twice weekly. For external use only. Avoid contact with eyes.
Try our one-gallon professional size...

Martha Silano said...

Hi Peter,
Love your found poem. This one below is found too (not a word added or deleted) but it comes from two copies of FIT PREGNANCY. Tee hee.


New Mother Cento

1.
Having choices is a blessing.
How and when do I introduce them?
A minimum of four times a day.
Is this normal? More study is needed.

2.
A cushion of three to six months.
A whole new world of hazards.
It’s so easy! Have an expert check
your genitals, so she doesn’t catch a cold.

3.
If you find yourself breathing too heavily,
gently press the buttock cheeks, pinching
the skin, or “shush” near her ear.
It may even spark your latent exhibitionism!

4.
There’s no evidence that you should make drastic changes,
even if he doesn’t do everything the way you would.
We won’t want to make life so miserable.
Just fifteen minutes a day strengths hamstrings and calves.

5.
We don’t want to frighten, but don’t be surprised
if you need a lubricant. Pick your best feature
and accentuate. Soft music. Shooting pain.
Cuddle . . .her belly tight again your own.

Peter said...

David, Esther: thanks.
Emily: nicely done . . . how fun! I love your mind.
Martha: What a pleasure to meet you in blog land. Thx for the found poem. "Have an expert check
your genitals . . ." Hahaha. That would be me.