Trick or Treat? Yet Another GOP Sex Scandal!

It seems like you can't swing a cat without hitting another Republican closet-case!
Read all the sordid details here.

A Republican state legislator from southwest Washington had sex with a man he met at an erotic video store and then told police he had been targeted in an extortion attempt, according to police documents released Tuesday.

The police report added that Curtis told officers he only wanted his wallet back "and wanted to keep the incident as low key as possible." He did not want to pursue charges against Castagna, the report said.

But as the investigation continued, police said Curtis admitted to having sex with Castagna in Curtis' hotel room.

According to the report, Curtis said he initially gave Castagna $100 as gas money, and said he did not consider that paying for sex.

Police interviewed several witnesses at the Hollywood Erotic Boutique, and according to the report, Curtis walked into a bathroom at the store and a few minutes later left the bathroom wearing long red women's stockings and a black sequined lingerie top. A witness told police that at another time in the store, he saw a man with a cane performing a sexual act on Curtis.

In 2005 and 2006, Curtis voted against a bill that granted civil rights protections to gays and lesbians.

In 2007, Curtis voted against a bill that created domestic partnerships for same-sex couples.

*

He didn't "pay for sex," it was just "gas money." Good grief.

Looks like the Instant Karma Fairy has been extra busy this year. ~grin~

*

This is pretty incredible to read about. Who is in charge? Why is this being allowed to happen? These thugs should not be above the law! Immunity Deals Offered to Blackwater Guards.

The Bush administration just gets worse and worse. It is one disaster and lie/cover-up after another. When will it end?

*

I bought this book to read after reading about it over at Critical Mass.

William Empson, Seven Types of Ambiguity. The book that gave close reading a good name. I can never open it without thinking that it was begun by an undergraduate at Cambridge who let one of his weekly essays run a little long.
*

this will disappear soon

*

Jupiter Rising - Electropop

I am totally hooked on this song. It's just great for driving. You must drop what you are doing NOW, and go listen to it on YouTube.

Jezebel: Harlot Queen?

“I read Jezebel in a single enthralled sitting. In her wonderfully spirited retelling of the Books of Kings, Lesley Hazleton makes Jezebel our contemporary, and turns the ninth century B.C. into a prophetic mirror of our twenty-first-century religiopolitical wars. In a feat of nonfiction magical realism, she brilliantly collapses the worlds of now and then into one realm, where Jezebel and Elijah effortlessly rub shoulders with Ehud Olmert and Sheik Hassan Nasrallah. The book is endlessly informative (and Hazleton’s knowledge of Hebrew serves her well here); it is also great fun.”
—Jonathan Raban

"Her demand that we use Jezebel's vivid story as a means to understand 'the dangers of political zealotry and the terrible hypocrisy of those who kill in the name of God' is passionately presented and perfectly timed."
Kimberly Marlowe Hartnett, Seattle Times

This looks like a fascinating and timely read. Lesley Hazelton is an amazing writer.

It's All ABout We

nosism (NO-siz-em) noun

The use of 'we' in referring to oneself.

[From Latin nos (we).]

As it's often used by editors, it's also known as the "editorial we".
It's also called "the royal we" owing to its frequent use by royalty.
Mark Twain once said, "Only kings, presidents, editors, and people
with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we'."
(from today's Word a Day. Archive here).

*

Dean and I use the "royal we" all the time at home, when we are being silly. But we use it to replace "you" rather than "I." For instance, "How would we like our eggs this morning?" and "Did we just fart?"

*

Went to hear Oliver de la Paz and Aimee Nezhukumatatahil read at Open Books tonight. They had a great turnout. And both gave good readings. (Recorded by our own Elizabeth Austen, for possible play on or local NPR affiliate at a future date.) Oliver's new book Furious Lullaby has lovely lush long lines, many aubades, and a series of epistolary poems. Aimee's At the Drive-In Volcano has a lot of fun and quirky word play, and a deep frivolity, which I admire. Looking forward to diving in to both books more deeply.

Mighty Tieton!

There is a wonderful poetry workshop/retreat/book arts program happening in Tieton, WA the first week of November. Including presentations by Susan Rich, Kathleen Flenniken, Paul Nelson, and others. It looks like a gorgeous setting, in a small town near Yakima and the Snake River. Spaces are still available! Check it out here. It's a fascinating website, with history of the region, photos, tours, etc.

When Doctors Become Patients

A fascinating interview over at Critical Mass. From Robert Klitzman's new book, When Doctors Become Patients.

"I always thought I was Ms. Compassionate and listened. Well, I had no idea what these patients went through. My eyes were completely opened."

The Specialist

A patient was waiting nervously in the examination room of a famous specialist.
"So who did you see before coming to me?" asked the specialist.
The patient answered, "My local Family Doc."
"Your Family Doctor?" scoffed the specialist. "What a waste of time! Tell me, what sort of useless advice did he give you?"
"He told me to come and see you."

*

Thanks to Brent for the link to this essay by David Graham, in Valparaiso Poetry Review, about "Ultra-Talk" poetry :

To my mind, the freshness of the ultra-talk poem as a category lies in just such quirky generosity of spirit. Such poetry resuscitates the beleaguered concept of accessibility in poetry, demonstrating by example how a poem may entertain without automatically becoming trivial; can move without being maudlin; and can be intelligent without being ponderous . . .

Sounds like a good thing.

*

Listen to Pamela and her students read fishbowl poems on NPR radio here. They're "fin-tastic!"

Watch Monday night's McNeil-Lehrer News Hour featuring small press poetry in Seattle. Including footage from Copper Canyon, Floating Bridge, Raven Chronicles, and Open Books. Yowza!

What Makes You Real?

Dean and I saw Lars and the Real Girl at the Harvard Exit last night. We were expecting a light-hearted comedy, but got something much more complicated. Though parts were laugh-out-loud funny, most of the movie was a fairly intense psychological drama and tear-jerker. Fargo meets Pinocchio meets Velveteen Rabbit, if you will.
Lars has suffered a great loss, his mother dying during his birth. Now, at age 27, his sister-in-law is about to have her first baby, and it triggers a kind of delusion, where he purchases a life-size mail order doll named Bianca, to be his girl-friend ("She's from Brazil. I met her on the internet"). What follows is a fascinating story of how his small community (a town somewhere in the frozen Northern Midwest) goes along with his delusion (which is usually the wrong thing to do, from a psychological perspective; as it only feeds the delusion and makes the condition worse) with amazingly healing results for all, and a lot of warm and fuzzy along the way (all those sweaters! all those mittens! all those wipsy snowflakes!).
Along the way Bianca is elected to the school board. And Lars learns to bowl. All in all, it's a good movie. Ryan Gosling is a disheveled marvel as Lars. Patricia Clarkson is wonderful as the family doctor.

Doppleganger?

Imagine... You Changing the World

October 15th: 8:30, 9:15 (Harvest) and 11:00 a.m. in the Sanctuary. Dr. Peter Pereira is an internationally renowned evangelist who has influenced thousands to follow Christ at mass crusades. The founder of Hope for Today Ministries and Director of South Asia for the International Leadership Institute, Dr. Pereira has established over 70 churches in India. He runs the Alpha Home for orphans which he and his wife, Esther established; he has a 'Rag-Pickers' ministry to benefit those living in slums; and his ministry continues to provide tsunami relief on the East Indian coast.

*

This was too weird, and funny. Mass crusades? A home for orphans? My wife Esther? It's a parallel universe. A bizarro world.

(What self-googling gets you.)

What I've Been Reading This Week

It just happens to be five books — actually three books and two magazines, but who's counting? (see Paisley Rekdals's hilarious essay about her five-book-a-week poetry diet, and Jeannine's well-measured rant about reading it).

1. The Georgia Review: Including a great review essay by the inimitable Judith Kitchen, about the collected poems volumes of Goldbarth, Philips, Wrigley, McClanahan, Beasley, Zimmer and Engles. A new play by David Wagoner. And this terrific poem from Kevin Prufer (well-placed next to some disturbing photos from the Iraq war):

The Twentieth Century

Kiss its cheek, then smooth its sad, gray hair.
Bring it secret cigarettes. How could they hurt
it anymore? A smoke to staunch the fear
is mercy in the end. The doctors purse

their lips or look away. They occupy their hands
with clipboards. Leave them to their notes. Smile. It's what
the dying want. Not tears, you fool. Nor bland-
eyes sentiment. Truth, neither. Offer it

a light. Tell that joke about Jews, the queer,
the drunken nigger. There you go. It smiles
at that, and so should you. Nothing quells our fears
like comedy, nothing sublimates out ills --

and if it finds no comfort from your visit,
put a pillow to its mouth, and, so, be done with it.

--Kevin Prufer, Georgia Review, Fall 2007

*

2. Notes for My Body Double, Paul Guest: Great book, Paul. I love your long wandering meditative stanzas. Congrats!

*

3. Nervous System, William Stobb: I've just started this. Love "October with Zoloft Trial Packet." What a hoot.

*

4. Time and Materials, Robert Hass: One of my favorite poets. A lot of good stuff here. I am currently taken with the Horace imitations.

*

5. Prairie Schooner, Fall 2007: A lot of good poems here. And a review of Robin Becker's Domain of Perfect Affection, written by Ron Slate.

*

What *five books* are you reading?

Lego Land

I baby-sat my 23 mos old nephew yesterday afternoon. Thank god for giant legos and "The Good Night Show" on cable TV. Our house is not exactly child-safe. Not at all. So I stacked chairs against the floor-to-ceiling bookcases, put a coffee table in front of the computer desk, spread a large blanket on the floor in the TV room downstairs, dumped his bag of legos on to the floor, tossed in a couple large pillows (is *that* why they are called throw pillows?), and clicked on the TV. Little boy B. was able to occupy himself for about an hour off and on. Then the wandering and climbing commenced. (My sister had warned me: "He's a climber, so you really have to watch him."). After the third time B. tried to climb a chair onto the bookcases, I decided to put one chair out in the middle of the floor, amid the legos. He gleefully climbed up & off & under & over & around & around this old wooden chair for about an hour, while I watched "The Good Night Show." It was like he was in a zone. A chair climbing zone. He even fell off the chair a couple times, but it did not even faze him. After about an hour, when the chair got boring, we climbed the basement stairs and stood at the back screen door and watched the windstorm. He jiggled the door latch over and over trying to open the door (it was locked). Then he pooped his diaper and his mom came home just in time to change it (thank you, Jesus!). He is such a sweet and adorable kid. But I have no idea how a "real" parent can do this day in and day out.

Maz Jobrani - Persians and Arabs

From Elham, my lovely Purrrrr-sian friend and colleague. This is really funny.

A lovely poem by Kathleen Flenniken on American Life in Poetry today.

*

Windstorms and rain are forecast for today in Seattle. Batten down the hatches. Huddle in the cellar. Ready the ark.

*
Check out the flap over Bill Maher saying: "Show me a man wearing an American flag pin on his lapel, and I'll show you an asshole."

Of course, the Republicans are the party of Mark Foley and the Rev. Ted Haggard and Larry Craig and countless other closeted homosexuals, so their fixation on jewelry is understandable, but still ... the flag is just a symbol. You're getting pissy about a brooch, you drama queens, one that was probably made in China. It's probably leaking poison lead on you right now.

*

I am having a lot of fun working on poems for the Frye commission. One of them having to do with "High Heeled Shoes."

POETRY READING (I can't go to this tonight, because Dean and I have dinner plans with friends in the neighborhood. But if you are free, check it out! Waywiser Press is publishing some really fun poetry lately).

Joseph Harrison and Eric McHenry
(introduced by Cody Walker)

Tuesday, Oct. 16 7 p.m. Richard Hugo House
(1634 11th Ave. in Capitol Hill)

Joseph Harrison’s first book, Someone Else’s Name, was published by Waywiser Press in England and Zoo Press in the United States, and was a finalist for the 2005 Poet’s Prize. Harrison is the recipient of an Academy Award in Literature from the American Academy of Arts and Letters. His poems have appeared in such publications as the Yale Review, the Antioch Review,the Paris Review, the Kenyon Review and Best American Poetry.

“The poems in this first book are so witty and formally adept, so technically accomplished, that they almost seem to come from another era.” — Edward Hirsch, The Washington Post

Eric McHenry’s first book, Potscrubber Lullabies (Waywiser Press), received the 2007 Kate Tufts Discovery Award and was a finalist for the Washington State Book Award. McHenry also writes about poetry for Slate and the New York Times Book Review.

“Potscrubber Lullabies is a most exceptional first book. It demonstrates this young poet's extraordinary command of form: it rhymes relentlessly, slyly, and above all, artfully.” — Robert Wrigley

Tuesday Potpourri

About to leave for the gym. Dean and I try to go together about once a week. It's hard for us to workout together because of our schedules, but also because our idea of a workout is somewhat different. Dean is more slow and methodical and can spend an hour or more at the gym, hardly breaking a sweat. I prefer a short but more intense workout, such as running (rather than walking) on the treadmill, and then going through all the weights in fairly rapid succession, 30 minutes is enough. The thing we agree on is we like to watch either the travel channel or the cooking channel while we are on the treadmill. And that it is best to go out for an espresso and a treat (pain au chocolate, or apricot scone, for instance) after the gym.

*

Project Runway starts November 14th, and not a moment too soon! Here's an interesting story about a Seattle contestant (possible spoiler).

*

I liked this poem on Slate.

*

It's time to plant bulbs. It's a little weird to be thinking of Spring right now. But still.

*

I've been reading a book of Flash Fiction. My oh my some of these stories are amazing. Have you heard of this Flash Fiction contest? 500 words max. Beer included.

RIVER STYX Schlafly Beer Micro-Fiction Contest.

A prize of $1,500, 2 cases of Schlafly beer, and publication in River Styx is given annually for the best micro-fiction story. The editors of River Styx will judge. Deadline: December 31 postmark. Limit: 500 words max per story, up to 3 stories per entry. Entry fee: $20 (includes a 1-year subscription). Editor: Richard Newman. River Styx, 3547 Olive St., Ste. 107, St. Louis, MO 63117. Phone: (314) 533-4541. For complete guidelines, see www.riverstyx.org.

*

Check out these gorgeous chapbooks by Payseur & Schmidt. The women who run this press apparently have an office in West Seattle. Only blocks from High Point clinic. Why have I never heard of them until now!?

From the I *Heart* Mondays File

Looks like the early bird gets the . . . crabapple?

*

Picture borrowed from Loren Webster's In a Dark Time

You Gotta See this Show!

Tania is a hoot and a holler, and a really swell person.

My One Night Stand With Breast Cancer
October 11 - November 11, 2007
In The Bullitt Theatre, at ACT
Running Time: 1 hours, 30 minutes

From the website:
Writer and humorist Tania Katan was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 21. While other people her age were concerned with cramming for college finals or deciding which bar to saunter into for their first legal drink, Tania was dealing with the impact of playing host to a life-threatening disease - receiving chemotherapy, radiation and even a mastectomy... and wondering if any of it was working. It did. Then at age 30 Tania was diagnosed with breast cancer again, and off came her second breast.

Some people, confronted with such a situation would be consumed by despair and eventually succumb to their own vulnerabilities. But that's not what Tania is about.

This world premier stage adaptation of her award-winning memoir, "My One Night Stand with Cancer," regales her rollercoaster experience through lenses of spirited humor and unblinking humanity. Somewhere between confronting mortality, finding her dream girl and running a 10K in under an hour with practically no racing experience, Tania finds herself. Using comedy - both personally and professionally - to mask the fear and pain of her illness, Tania brilliantly weaves the many threads of her story with honesty and insight into a performance that will have any audience in tears and hysterics all at the same time. She reminds each of us wholeheartedly that the essence of real love and laughter are truly the important things in life.

This production is presented by Ethereal Mutt — Limited.

Visit myonenightstandwithcancer.com

A New Wing

Received this from Papaduck, and just had to pass it on:

When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.

The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body", while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.

The Darjeeling Limited

Dean and I saw The Darjeeling Limited last night. I had just finished a week of on-call, and Dean was about to start a weekend of work, so it was a nice break to go to the movies after dinner.

The scenes in India are gorgeous, stunning, beautiful. Worth the price of admission alone. The train itself is a revelation (think Orient Express, but more basic, more colorful, more quirky, more surreal). The movie is a road-story about three American brothers (played by Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, Jason Schwartzman) who are united on a "spiritual quest" to visit their long-estranged mother (Angelica Houston), who is now a Christian nun in Nepal(?). The plot is actually pretty lame and non-sensical, and the movie doesn't know whether it is honoring Indian spiritual traditions, spiritual quests in general, or just mocking them ironically (or both) for the sake of cheap laughs. Still, the climactic scene, which occurs along a river as three Indian boys are trying to cross with their load of provisions, is riveting and devastating and transforming. This scene, and what immediately follows, is the true heart of the movie, what in the end really mattered, and it is where the writer-director(s) should have focused.

An nice excerpt from a Richard Hugo AWP address over at Nothing to Say & Saying It.


Why are we writing? A silly question, granted. We write because we can’t stop, or as Bill Stafford says, for the same reason we talk. But there’s an even more serious answer, and it is one that has evolved in our time. We write to validate our lives, our relations with the world and with each other. Literature will have to take care of itself.

*

And over at Reginald Sheperd's blog, Why I Write, revised.

*

Did you hear Naomi Wolf's interview on NPR yesterday, for her book The End of America? It was chilling. Dean and I went out to Elliott Bay and bought the book (which oddly enough was shelved in an out-of-the-way "Activism" section in the back of the store, bottom row). Her thesis is that many of the things that fascist totalitarian regimes do to take control of their people (see Mussolini's Italy, Hitler and the Nazi's Germany, Russia under Stalin), are actually happening now, in America. Right under our noses. And it may be too late before we wake up and really start to protest the erosion of our civil liberties. She researched a lot of original historical documents, and comes up with Ten Steps.

1. Invoke a terrifying internal and external enemy (9/11 and "the terrorists")

2. Create a gulag (Git-mo and the secret prisons)

3. Develop a thug caste (Blackwater and other private security forces)

4. Set up an internal surveillance system (they are watching you right now)

5. Harass citizens' groups (Democratic voters in Florida harassed at polls by groups of khaki-and-white-shirt wearing republican campaign workers)

6. Engage in arbitrary detention and release (see the story of Maher Arar, the innocent Canadian who was held for three years)

7. Target key individuals (uh-huh)

8. Control the press (check)

9. Dissent equals treason (check)

10. Suspend the rule of law (this is coming with the next election. Bush will say that because of the new war with Iran we can't have elections for a while. Wolf doesn't say as much, but I think it is not out of the realm of what Bush and hos cronies are capable of doing.)


It's a fascinating read. All the stuff that is happening with Blackwater right now, she predicted in step three. They are the "Thug Caste" of paramilitary officers, answerable to no one, who will soon be operating in America. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Read her book. And take action, now.

We now return you till your regular programming. This post will probably get me put on some kind of list (if I'm not already on one).

*

Putting the Garden to Rest

The vegetable beds covered with straw.

Dean and I drove out to Woodinville last Saturday, for our yearly straw bale purchase. The gardens beds look so cozy & tucked-in and ready for winter now. It's time to get out the winter duvet for the bedroom as well. It all makes me feel like I want to hibernate for a few months. Wake me up in March or April?

*

Putting the Garden To Rest

Today you clipped long, thin verticals
from the espaliered pear and apple, laid them straight
in three bundles tied with twine.

I dug the vegetable beds under,
turning the heavy soil until it fell black
and loose from the spading fork.

I love this emptiness.
Bare branches making a net for the wind.
The garden tucked under a cover of straw.

We pull dry logs from the woodpile,
carry them in to the stove.
A finch lights on the fencepost,

then disappears into the white sky.


--from Saying the World

*

The Upper Left Hand Corner

The National Poetry Series is pleased to announce...

The Winners of the 2007 Open Competition:

Joe Bonomo of DeKalb, Illinois, InstallationsChosen by Naomi Shihab Nye, to be published by Penguin Books

Oni Buchanan of Brighton, Massachusetts, SpringChosen by Mark Doty, to be published by University of Illinois Press

Sabra Loomis of New York, New York, House Held Together by WindsChosen by James Tate, to be published by HarperCollins Publishers

Donna Stonecipher of Seattle, Washington, The Cosmopolitan
Chosen by John Yau, to be published by Coffee House Press

Rodrigo Toscano of Brooklyn, New York, Collapsible Poetics Theater
Chosen by Marjorie Welish, to be published by Fence Books

*

An in other recent news: Brian Culhane received the Emily Dickinson First Book Award, recognizing an American poet over the age of 50 who has yet to publish a first book of poetry. In addition to publication of his winning manuscript, Culhane received a prize of $10,000. Culhane, 53, was born in 1954 in New York City and earned a BA from the City University of New York and an MFA from Columbia University. He received a PhD from the University of Washington, studying epic literature and the history of criticism. He currently lives in Seattle with his wife and children, and teaches film and English at the Lakeside School. Through the Washington Commission for the Humanities, he has lectured on Frost and Thoreau throughout Washington state. His poetry has been published in such journals as The New Criterion, The Hudson Review, The New Republic, and The Paris Review.


*

I'm glad to see two more Seattle poets getting recognition. There is a hotbed of poetry going on in the upper left hand corner of the country!

PS: Actually, looking outside at the weather this morning, it's a cold damp loamy fertile bed of poetry. Nothing hot about it.

I am enjoying the new issue of Seattle Review, which has a new look, and a new editor, Andrew Feld. He has updated the image of the journal, with a wider, oversize format, and a hipper design (though the shifting font sizes and spacing were a little distracting to this reader). And he writes a good opening essay about his philosppy as editor. He makes no apologies for Seattle Review being an "academic" journal, meaning "we embrace ideas and welcome the widest possible range of voices and aesthetics. The academy is, after all, that singular place in the world where ideas are taken seriously." Sounds good.

The current issue has some wonderful poems by Richard Howard, Susan Parr, Rick Barot, James Hoch, and more. Check it out!

*

Also reading the latest issue of Poetry Northwest. Sharon Bryan has an amazing poem, "Bass Bass" about language, confusion, creation. It's a hoot. Here's an excerpt:

" . . .

the words make a little
sizzle in my brain,

which twin is it, does it
rhyme with ace or ass,

my tongue trips over
itself when I come to

either one, am I at
the opera, jazz club,

bait shop, is something
keeping time or sifting it . . ."

pg 12-13


enjoy!

*

Trifecta

From the when-it-rains-it-pours file:
Looks like I will have a poem, "Heart Scan," in next week's JAMA (Journal of the American Medical Association). And tomorrow Garrison Keillor is set to read my poem "Reconsidering the Seven" on The Writer's Almanac. (Scroll down to October 7th and you can listen to it on the archive). I am especially tickled with the Writer's Almanac date, because it is the 50th anniversary of Ginsberg reading "Howl." Along with the ALP appearance, I feel like I have won some kind of lottery. Hmmm. Maybe I should be buying tickets this week?

Had a fun time reading in Ballard last night with Susan Rich and Jourdan Keith. It's a lovely new building, with a garden of grasses on the roof. The reading room is oval shaped with a high ceiling and amazing acoustics. You can read without a mic and be heard quite clearly. I loved Susan's poem "The Men You Don't Get to Sleep With" and Jourdan's long poem/story about black seeds ("beautiful strange fruit with black seeds inside"). Thanks to everybody who came.

Susan and I had dinner at Thaiku beforehand. What a great name for a Thai restaurant for poets. ~grin~

Here is a pic of the little Buddha from my ALP poem.

Looks like I have a poem up on American Life in Poetry this week.
What a pleasant surprise!
Thank you, Ted K.

From the Borowitz Report

Ahmadinejad Invites U.N. Inspectors to Search for Homosexuals
Permits Use of Advanced Gaydar

Just days after asserting that there are no homosexuals in Iran, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad today invited United Nations inspectors into his country to search for homosexuals.

“We have nothing to hide,” Mr. Ahmadinejad said in a speech to the United Nations General Assembly. “You can search the entire country – even the airport bathrooms.”

While some senior U.S. diplomats expressed skepticism about the Iranian president’s offer to allow U.N. inspectors to search his country for homosexuals, Mr. Ahmadinejad attempted to silence the skeptics by permitting the use of “advanced gaydar technology” as part of the proposed inspections.

“In Iran we have the most advanced gaydar in the world and we are prepared to share it with you,” he said.

In the immediate aftermath of Mr. Ahmadinejad’s speech, it was unclear as to who would lead the U.N.’s inspection efforts, but most diplomats assumed that the task would fall to Mohamed ElBaradei, head of the International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA).

At a press conference at the United Nations, Mr. ElBaradei acknowledged that he had no previous experience searching for homosexuals, but said that if chosen to lead the inspection effort he would make sure that the inspections were “rigorous and thorough.”

“The possibility that Iran may possess homosexuals is a serious matter to the world community,” Mr. ElBaradei said. “There has been evidence for some time that Iran may be attempting to build a Broadway musical.”

Elsewhere, President Bush made his first official comment on the situation in Myanmar, telling reporters, “I will support whichever side is easier to pronounce.”

Take This Quiz!

Take this quiz. See which candidate you most agree with on the issues. You may be very, very surprised. My top three were Gravel, Kucinich, and Richardson.

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
-- Abraham Lincoln

*

Poetry reading: I'll be reading at the new Ballard Public Library, with Susan Rich and Jourdan Keith. 6:30 PM Thursday, October 4th. Come on down if you are in the area (or even if you are far away!)

Seattle Public Library - Ballard Branch
5614 22nd Ave NW,
Seattle, WA

Dylan is brilliant

This was too fun. I hope you like my little poem/movie for the president.




Q: Isn't that Allen Ginsburg and Peter Orlovsky walking off in the end?

PS: If the movie won't load, go to the link here.

Lie Soap

The President Speaks Out on the Issues

It's Sunday, and the president has finished his milk.
"Let out more line!" he hollers. A screen door bangs.

It is another day, and the president has three shoes.
He thinks the closet is like his mother, hiding in plain sight.

The president feeds on charred animals, chewing their little ears.
It's Tuesday twice in a row in the unemployment line.

"I'm the president," says the president.
"I'll break every mirror in the garsh darn place."

It is a time of trials, and the president is selling soap.
Lie soap. Carefully he washes out his mouth.

"War is our only road to peace," says the president
to his necktie and gloves. The wind smells of oily birds.

"Murderers should be excruciated," he tells his dog,
Spot, "so we can sleep safely in our boats."

It is Thursday again, and the president completes his favorite
Norman Rockwell puzzle on national television.

"See what can be done if we work together," says the president,
who evaporates below the waist and discusses the beauty of stumps.

"This is a great day, eh spot?" says Spot.
"We all love you for that."

-- Christopher Howell, appeared in Gettysburg Review