Friday, December 02, 2005

From Woody, via Gary via Stephanie

Go to google, type in "(your name) needs" and collect the first lines from the first page of hits:

Peter needs Jesus to rehabilitate him, to forgive him, to make him new ...
Peter needs to be swift with his knife and other weapons
Peter needs to save Dumbledore
Peter Needs an Impressive Stoppage Over Williams
PETER NEEDS OUR HELP. Hard as it may be to believe —
Peter needs all the funds he can get to pay for his attorney.
What Peter needs to know to "grow up"

hehehe . . .


Emily Lloyd said...

Emily needs to be told No & to be whipped into shape by Nanny 911
Emily needs background
Emily needs to talk to him
All Emily needs to do is work on reading a little extra every night
Emily needs to increase her stamina, language comprehension, vocabulary
Emily needs a forever family who will be patient and consistent

These all seem spot-on. I'm just not sure who the "he" is I need to talk to--

Radish King said...

Okay, this just cracked me up and I'm at work. There are a billion of them. I need my food to be cut up, I need to find a new boyfriend, I need more practice time, and, maybe my favorite Rebecca needs to quit laughing so hard and running for Shakespearean texts.


Peter said...

Em and R: So glad enjoyed the googlecize.

A. D. said...

AD needs proofreading.
AD needs to stand out.
AD needs accompaniment.
AD needs to go.
AD needs to be finished soon.
AD needs you.
AD needs editing immediately.
AD needs your help.
AD needs a lot of improvement.

Anne said...

Anne needs this yesterday.
Anne Needs Help!!!
Anne needs a group of at least 6 people.
Anne needs a room.
Anne needs to teach an acting class.
Anne needs love.
Anne needs a man in her life to take care of her romantic and sexual needs. (errr....)
Anne needs the loo in the middle of Coldplay.
Anne needs to be where the action is.
Anne needs to know what everybody's schedule is going to be.
Anne needs to quit demanding so much from me and be thankful for all she has.
Anne needs to break free of her young lover's clutching grip.
Anne needs glasses.
Anne needs a new pair of shoes.
Anne needs no such warning.

Pamela said...

Oh, Peter, I would love to do this, but I am afraid to post results, as nearly every one of my "Pamela needs" has to do with Ms. Pamela Anderson.

Some of the tamer ones are:

Pamela needs no introduction
Pamela needs to get a few things off her chest.
Plastic Pamela needs sperm donor.

Peter said...

Pamela: that is so funny. It was really "stacked" against you, wasn't it?

My Dean tried to do it, and all of his were about Howard Dean.

Lorna Dee Cervantes said...

More Devilish fun! I posted my results to my blog. Here's to hoping you never grow up!

32poems said...

Evidently, I need a kidney transplant.

Brian Campbell said...

Brian needs assistance (I don't live in New Orleans, but hey...)
Brian needs food, badly.
Brian needs your help for charity.
Brian needs an upgrade.
Brian needs to show what he brings to the table and the contribution he can make before we can give him more leads, more connections.
Brian needs to communicate more effectively and stop being negative.
Now what Brian needs is our prayers.

I was just procrastinating here, just getting ready to do another round of submissions -- or (Oops!) rather, assertions. Also weirdly spot on. Hilarious!

Ginger Heatter said...

I made a little "found poem" of mine. Ginger need, for instance, "large doses of wolfsbane to combat / the werewolf effects." ;-P

Collin said...

There is a website at where you can type in your name and see what comes up. Here were mine:

collin kelley is a journalist and poet from atlanta
collin kelley is an award winning playwright
collin kelley is included here for your convenience

That last one cracks me up!

Collin said...

By the way Peter, you're also a "chartered surveyor and investment manager of a uk property fund." Oh, really? We must talk. lol

Peter said...

Oh Collin: that is too funny. Yes, let's *talk*.

Pamela Jaye said...

I'm a Pamela too. Guess how I found this. It's annoying! It was a perfectly good name till this morning!