Monday, September 29, 2008

Poetry Bailout

HAHAHAHA. This is just too funny (from Harper's):

Cultural leaders have come together to announce a massive poetry buyout: leveraged and unsecured poems, poetry derivatives, delinquent poems, and subprime poems will be removed from circulation in the biggest poetry bailout since the Victorian era. We believe the plan is a comprehensive approach to relieving the stresses on our literary institutions and markets.

Let there be no mistake: the fundamentals of our poetry are sound. The problem is not poetry but poems. The crisis has been precipitated by the escalation of poetry debt -- poems that circulate in the market at an economic loss due to their difficulty, incompetence, or irrelevance.


Ron Slate said...

Obama: "I support the plan -- but we must ask: how did we get here? I'm asking for more accountability among directors of MFA programs (and serious scrutiny of their compensation packages), and new diplomatic efforts to deal globally with disruptively innovative poetry wherever it rears its comely head."

McCain: "I survived years in a hell-hole by reciting lines from Edgar Guest. There's no question that the surge of MFA-driven poetry has worked -- poets are employed, even if some of them publish a bomb or two. And I picked Sarah Palin because she reminds me of the young Maxine Kumin."

Justin Evans said...

In true to form extreme partisanship, the Hardies, who base their literary philosophy on that of Thomas Hardy are being left out the discussion. Their belief in returning to poetry and abandoning prose entirely, essentially torpedoed the 2000 Poet Laureate Elections with their support of Franz Wright.

Now, with the turmoil of a poetry 'bailout' in full swing, not even their banners which read "I've Got A Hardy On For Poetry" will swing people to their way of thinking.

Franz Wright and his runnig mate in 2008, Bill Knott, were not even allowed to participate inthe debates.

Premium T. said...

Omg. I'm falling off the bed laughing.
"Poetry debt." !!!!!!!

I say that we take the bailout $$ and write a check to poets instead of to the failing banks. Now that's how poetry can save us.

It's time poets were in power.

Rachel Dacus said...

I think the fundamentals of poetry are weak and tremors in the culture threaten to topple the whole thing, balanced as it is on confidence and diminishing assets, and leveraged on reviews, awards and retreats.

Montgomery Maxton said...

how hilarious!

Kelly said...

LOL! The question on my mind is will the poets use the bailout opportunity to change the poetry system or will we be back to the current poetry crisis in only a few years?